The IVF Reality: What No One Tells You
One in six people will discover they need some form of fertility assistance. It could be anyone—your sister, your best friend, your coworker. It might even be you.
In vitro fertilization (IVF) has quietly transformed human reproduction since the first IVF baby was born in 1978. Today, more than 12 million babies have been born through IVF worldwide1, and in the U.S. alone, approximately 2.3% of all babies are born because of this technology.
But even though IVF has been part of our world for more than 40 years, the intricacies of what’s involved are rarely discussed socially.
Before I started my own fertility journey, I only knew one woman who had frozen her eggs. One—and a few others who had been through IVF. Even so, I didn’t really know what they went through, how much it cost, or what age they were when they started. I didn’t know if it took them one round or 10, and I certainly didn’t know about hormone testing or the things I could do to improve my outcomes. I went into the whole process blind.
Today, women are having babies later than ever before , which we now know impacts fertility and the ability to conceive. The average age of women giving birth in the U.S. has increased to 30 years2, the highest on record, as women delay having families to build careers or wait for the right partner.
In my case, it was both.
At the time when my friends began having kids in our early 30s, I was solely focused on furthering my career and earning a professional designation. The time in my life for building a family was off, but there was no doubt in my mind that someday, I would be a mom. I knew that, eventually, I was going to find the right person and that, in time, it would all line up. And trust me, I tried.
What I didn’t account for at the time was just how drastically a woman’s fertility declines in her mid-30s. Seeing women in their 40s having babies without knowing their story can give one false security that people can wait. Success stories, especially those of well-known celebrities, can conceal the reality of how difficult it can be to achieve. If I knew then what I know now, I would have made different choices. I would have felt a greater sense of urgency instead of assuming it would all work out eventually.
Because here’s the thing: freezing your eggs isn’t just about whether or not you find the partner of your dreams. I know countless women who met the right person in their 20s, married in their early 30s, and started their families. But by the time they were ready to have more children, they encountered secondary infertility—where couples who had no trouble conceiving their first child suddenly struggled to have another.
People often overlook this challenge, assuming that if a woman had one child, she could easily have another. Yet this is far from the truth. It is increasingly problematic the longer women wait to start having children. It’s a harsh reminder that when it comes to having children, society has changed, but our biology hasn’t.
Don’t wait until it feels urgent. Get your hormones checked and freeze your eggs sooner rather than later. It can make all the difference in reducing the struggles that come from waiting.
https://www.focusonreproduction.eu/article/ESHRE-News-COP23_adamson
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/motherhood-deferred-us-median-age-giving-birth-hits-30-rcna27827